Death was never something Sho could see as real. The death of his first dog was unreal. Sho just wondered why it was away for so long. The death of his grandmother was unreal, she had Alzheimer since he was born. For him, she had never really lived. Then how could she have died? First time death became a reality to Sho, it was still unreal. Cause it was him.

Sho was 15 when he was hit by a car while on holiday in Miami. The ambulance rushed him to hospital. He was losing a lot of blood, and got a blood transfusion. Sho was lucky, because he had a rare bloodtype, and the hospital had received some blood of his type just weeks before. After two months, Sho could return home to Amsterdam, the Netherlands.

In September 1995, a month after his 18th birtday, Sho went to the hospital again. This time to give blood. He was grateful that someone had given blood so that he could live, and wanted to do the same. A month later, Sho received a phonecall from the hospital. He was to come immediately.

Sho couldn't be allowed to give blood, for he was HIV positive.

About a year later, Sho had his first girlfriend. Her name was Lea. Lea had AIDS too. For the first time since his life changed he was happy again. But it wasn't to last, Lea died January 4th 1997. Sho died January 25th 1997.

Death is real.

--Dedan-Jah (1997)