That’s Iyerny!

Jon Sindell
Skye popped his gum, plopped the shoplifted Yu–Gi–Oh! cards before his awed buds. “When the skinny bald guy rings up your Kit Kat and you slip the cards into your pocket,” he said, minding the exhortation of his mother the English teacher that he paint pictures with words, “your heart pounds like a roller coaster! Then, when he’s giving you change, the blood rushes to the top of your head—and lifts you all the way up to the sky!”

“You’re a poet,” said Chance with sincere admiration.

Encouraged, Skye cried: “So I’ll write a book!” 

Skye raced to the mall, pinched a Spiderman journal, and rushed home to write. “The salesgirl had pink hair like cotton candy and black lipstick like squid ink, and she smiled like a snake like she knew I was stealing. Hey that’s iyerny, writing about stealing ... IN THE SAME FREAKING JOURNAL I STOLE!”

A week later, Skye got caught pocketing a Grand Canyon paperweight from the math teacher’s desk. His mother thrust him inside the house, and Skye tuned out her scolding by mentally composing a new scene for his book: “Her face got as red and hot as pizza sauce bubbling, and she screeched like a cat in a alley fight!”

But Skye’s father didn’t yell, he could not even speak. His shoulders sagged, and he gazed at Skye with sorrow too deep for words. 

The end, Skye scribbled, his first book drowned in the eyes of his dad.  

Jon Sindell, wrote the story collections The Roadkill Collection and Family Happiness. His humor has appeared in The Big Jewel, Thrice Quarterly, Feathertale, Hobart, and The Higgs-Weldon, and before captive audiences in living rooms everywhere. Much of his writing hides in plain sight at jonsindell.com.


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